Sorry is gonna be a very long post…!
No, I won’t continue the “What Happened” posts now because the last part is quite hard and painful so I’ve decided to wait till I get mentally stronger. But, as soon as I’ll be stronger get prepared cause the last bit is shocking… When I told a friend of mine which works for the European Committee that evaluates the investments funding for companies in Eastern Europe and told him why I’m currently not working he was very shocked and if a person like him got shocked you guys are probably getting also.
What I’m going to write about instead is how some little repetitive actions and behaviours can unconsciously affect peoples’ security up to the point the person becomes insecure and afraid of delivering a good job, and how being loyal at work can improve the relationship between colleagues and also between management and direction depending on your job. Another important thing is the cultural difference between people which also must be taken into consideration but, if there is respect, true commitment to the word given, loyalty and passion into giving yourself completely to the company as it was yours in those hours you spend at work than, there would be no problem cause everything I’ll write would come naturally and we wouldn’t see people leaving jobs for stress or depression, we would see people leaving companies just to upgrade their career… We all know that if a manager wants to step up his career and the company he/she works for doesn’t let him\her step up the person, of course, will have to leave. But I won’t be writing today how to grow your career but how to become a better person at work!
This weekend a friend came to visit me (yes, I’m again not leaving the house much) and she looked very sad so I asked her what is happening to you, why are you so sad? “people hate me at work! I arrived late few times and the manager instead of speaking to me went directly to the leadership and now I’m in big trouble. “The girls in reception speak badly about me on my back and I feel awkward every time I have to go to reception to pick up documents. I have a feeling that I don’t belong there and that they don’t want me there.” I listened to her quietly, she went on: ” I have too many appointments and I don’t have enough time to write all the procedures I do and a person that refused my advice came back in months later with the same problems and didn’t admit that I tried to guide and advice to the solution of the problem, so because I didn’t have time to write it down I had no defence and now everybody is questioning if I’m a good enough professional.” She stopped held her head and said: “This would have never happened in my country! People, there are not afraid of speaking the truth! Now I’m afraid to work, I’m afraid that people will think I’m not good at my job cause they’ll believe him instead of me”
She is right people here lie a lot to cover themselves, I myself got in trouble every day because of the lack of honesty and courage to own its own actions that people have at work, but I didn’t want to put alcohol in the already big fire that she had herself in. So I decided to analyze with her the problem and this is what came out:
- You are late often. Unfortunately in your country is normal and common to accept people to be late to 15 minutes. Its called acceptable delay, more than 15 minutes and you’re considered rude. Here, of course, is not acceptable so I told her that she definitely has to work on that also because if she arrives at work 30 minutes before the first scheduled hour she has time to organize her day and prepare herself. She immediately realised that yes she was on wrong on that and already planned how to change that.
- The girls in reception speaking badly about her. “Buy them Chocolates!” I told her, “and thank them for their hard work, tell them that they are doing an amazing job, apologize for the troubles they might have had with the clients because of being late.” At the end of the day who doesn’t love chocolate, and who doesn’t like to be appreciated for their hard work? Take the decision of seeing love instead and go on with your life maybe they will continue to gossip but gossiping is a habit like smoking and is hard to stop. They talk just to talk.
- The manager went to speak directly to the leadership instead of speaking to you, well that’s bad but maybe that’s the procedure… Maybe she cannot tell you the problem directly, maybe she was afraid of doing something wrong. So she asked for help. Maybe she thought that by telling you directly you would feel offended… Maybe she just can’t deal with problem-solving. Whatever it was we both know that back home it wouldn’t happen, the person would have told her maybe making a joke drinking a coffee and would have escalated the problem only if she couldn’t solve it alone but we are not at home here is different. Don’t be late 🙂
- I don’t have time to write all the information on the system. Well nothing to say about that cause if it’s part of your job, you do have to follow the procedure! And from what I see the procedure saves you but big-time from people that don’t really want to admit their responsibilities…
We both started to laugh, she realized that she could change all that was happening by reviewing her actions and by setting herself mentally into the rules of the country we are living in and also realized that if she plans her day she will yes have time to follow procedures. Procedures are good they save our arse! I am personally a big fan of procedures, wrote many myself and always explained in every quality control meeting that procedures save our jobs.
This conversation also helped me a lot to understand this last hard year I had… I reviewed my actions… But unfortunately, there was nothing I could have done, to improve or to fight against the mobbing and harassment I was going through at work, do the fact that I was physically working inside the clients’ factory as a supplier and my company would have most probably lost the contract if I would have escalated the problems to the clients leadership… At the end of the day, they kept me quite by threatening me. I didn’t want the company I worked for to lose the contract. I didn’t want to cause harm. I harmed myself!